Sunday, December 28, 2008

How Goes It...Or How It Goes...

With the holidays, I've been on a 2-week binge. I kinda "detoxed" yesterday and by that I mean, I just didn't eat a lot of crap. I ate pretty well and it resulted in a literal overnight weight loss of almost 6 lbs.

I really don't have just tons and tons to say, but I wanted to check in, rather than just let my little blog'o'health disappear into the ether. I'm hoping to come up with a list of books, websites, podcasts, etc that I find helpful in my quest for physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I have this whole next week off of work, so perhaps I'll work on that this week.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

So, Here's the Story...

Where to begin, where to begin....

I guess I'll start with why I'm writing this blog. I'm going through a massive shift in my life right now in every way imaginable, save for my job and family. I've had some devastating relationship failures this year. I'm single for the first time in over 10 years. I've always had someone on the back burner whenever I've been "single" before and for the first time, I don't. I'm completely free of relationship drama. Yay. Anyway, due to my relationship issues (and there have been many which I may get into in a later entry), I started going to therapy for the first time (there have been and will continue to be many firsts for me in the near future in particular) and have realized a lot of things about what I want and what I don't want in my life. So, this little blogaroo will be primarily dedicated to my weight loss, which has been a work in progress for the past 3 years, if not my entire life, really. Additionally, I'll be talking about some of the internal changes I'm going through emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I guess my hope, if not my actual goal, is that maybe someone out there will read this. And maybe that someone out there will be going through some of the same horrible garbage I've gone through lately. And maybe some little smidge of something I say will give them some hope for their own life.

Some background information about me: I'm 33. I'm a lesbian. I'm vegetarian. I'm some form of Wiccan, which I have yet to really nail down. I teach elementary school...ohmygod, parents! They allow lesbian Pagans to teach children. Eek. As to my heighest weight, which I reached about 5 or 6 years ago was 336 pounds. Yup. I lost a good 40 of that, only to gain it all back and hit 333 again about 3 years ago. Since then I've been gradually losing (and sometimes gaining back) weight. I have mostly maintained my current weight, give or take 10-15 lbs, for the past year and a half. I weighed in at 258.8 this morning. Fortunately, I'm tallish (5'8"), so most people don't realize I weigh as much as I do.

I guess I should also insert here that I am one of those people who has been overweight their entire lives. I remember being fat in 3rd grade and I've been fat every since. Probably even before. I have been known to eat entire packages of candy bars in one sitting, scarf down fast food, and drink my weight in regular, sugary soda in one day. Exercising in the past has always been a "I"m too tired...I'll start tomorrow" activity. You know, where you say the aforementioned to yourself, then crash on the sofa with the remote control and reruns of The Simpsons.

So, I've been on and off the wagon the past year or so, and after hitting rock bottom in the relationship department and in the liking myself department, I'm back on again. What does that mean, you ask? For me, it means, dragging my butt out of bed every morning (though actually changing into my workout clothes while still in bed), eating healthy breakfast, and hitting the treadmill. I'm currently following a prescribed walking plan from my etools subscription at And yes, I do follow the Weight Watchers plan, because it's been the most sensible, easiest plan that I have come across. And following it has helped me take off weight and keep it off, mostly, whenever I'm not actively losing. Basically, I log everything I eat into a program on their website and I also keep track of things in a spreadsheet that I created for myself. I weigh myself daily, because it keeps me focused.

To the vegetarian issue...I've attempted vegetarianism off and on (kinda like how I've followed healthiness off and on) for several years. This summer I tried again, this time as more of a control experiment, and it ended up sticking. So much so, in fact, that I'm transistioning to vegan...though most likely only in my home. It's hard enough living in the world and not eating meat. For me, anyway.

I guess I'll stop here for now. This is an assorted list of ramblings, it seems to me and I would like to have some more cohesive things to say in the future.